A Day From The Eyes of Sirius Black
by FlamingElf
Summary: This is just a story written from Sirius' point of view when he was in school. (M/W/P/P) Warning: extreme insanity.
1. Chinchillas

Disclaimer: Yes, I own it! Hahahahaha! No, really, what do you think, genius? 

A/N: Okay, I was bored from all the angstiness of The Devil In The Dark, so I decided to write a short funny one…namely, insanity. Hehe, Kayli is sooooo gonna kill me for this. Sirius, here I come!

A Day From The Eyes of Sirius Black

          "Yo, Blackity! Wake up!" shouted a voice. It was a familiar voice. He would recognize that voice anywhere.

          "James? Where are you? James! Help! Jaaaaaames!"

          "Sirius! I'm right here!"

          "Where? Does anyone have their wand? It's dark in here!"

          "Sirius, It's broad daylight."

          "What? You mean to tell me that…that…I'm blind?! I'm blind! Noooooo! Help meee! I'm blind!"

          "Open your eyes, Blackity."

          "Oh…thanks." This was a regular happening every morning in the bedroom of Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew. Yup, Sirius was that stupid. He got up and walked into the bathroom. Examining himself in the mirror, he thought, ' Wow, I'm sexy. How can anyone resist?' He brushed his hair until it shone and looked at himself a looooong time.

          "Um, Blackity?" Remus asked, walking in.

          "Hm?"

          "What're you doing? It's time for class."

          "But my hair…it's so shiny. I like shiny things."

          "Yes. Look at this." Remus held up a silver necklace.

          "0o0o0o0o0o! Shiny!"

          "Yes. I'll give it to you to keep if you come. It hurts me."

          "O…K…" Sirius answered in a trance, following the shiny as it left the dorm and went down the halls. While they were walking, they ran into Snape. He sneered at them, 'Why does he always sneer?' Sirius wondered. He couldn't help but notice Snape's eyes. Not that he was gay or anything, because he wasn't, but they were like gerbils. 'Wow.' He thought, 'His eyes are like…gerbils. Not like that's a bad thing, cuz I like gerbils, but…are eyes supposed to be like gerbils? Is it a disease?' After James and Snape finished arguing, they began to walk on. "Snape?" Sirius said.

          "What?" snapped Snape.

          'Hehe. Snape snapped…hahaha.' Thought Sirius. "You might wanna get your eyes checked."

          "What?" Snape said again in a wonderful display of his genius.

          "They're like…gerbils." Sirius answered and walked away leaving one very confused Snape standing there. Snape had never gotten that comment before. He always thought they were more like chinchillas. 

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know. Short chapter. You like? It's definitely different. Ahh, well, u must know, I have a strange obsession with small fuzzy rodents of any sort, and anything that had 'munk' in it's name (monkey, chipmunk, monk, munk-munk) I also like to spell thing weird. (munky, stoopit) Ok, have a nice day!**   


	2. Chipmunks

Disclaimer: Some of you might agree with my friend, PadfootPrankster13, that it's a good thing I don't own Sirius Black and the all the other HP characters. Oh, if I did, it would be sooooo much fun! Mwhehehehehe!

**A/N: Dang! It's been awhile, hasn't it? Wow…longer than I expected it to take. Well, as you may know, school has started once again, restraining my creative juices and so I need one thing in particular to squeeze my juices into. I have chosen this! So, expect it more often! Also, expect more insanity than usual since school is so boring and…normal. I mean, what is with math? It's too…ruley, normal, expected. Not my style. (Though I must admit, I'm pretty good at it. Tee hee.) So, what am I getting at? That fact that this will be even better since I have nothing else to be creative with. :D**

A Day From The Eyes of Sirius Black

          They went through History of Magic and Transfiguration with only one incident: instead of turning an apple into a weasel, Sirius turned James into a mutated chipmunk with four eyes and radioactive colors. They finally changed the chipmunk back into James.

          "Jimbo, you okay?" Sirius asked, grinning.

          "Peachy." Jimbo, I mean James muttered.

          "Jeez, that musta been embarrassing."

          "Ya think?" Ah, sarcasm.

          "Actually, not often." Sirius was serious. (Horrible pun intended.)

          "That much is obvious." Suddenly, James tripped on a loose tile and went flying across the corridor, falling into a statue and rolling, unconscious, into the middle of the floor in a ridiculous position. Sirius hadn't noticed. He was too busy wondering how James had disappeared so quickly when he couldn't apparate in school grounds, and why. 'I'm not THAT ugly, am I? Is it how I smell? No, Remus is still here. Laughing, though. What did I do this time?' he suddenly gasped with a terrible realization, 'My hair must be messed up!'

          Sirius dropped his books to cover his face. With that, he started crying and running back to their dorm, but before he could do that, his foot connected with something lying in the middle of the corridor, and he went down. His last thoughts were, 'They need to pick up the halls more often. This really is a hazard to my safety!' Then he was unconscious.

          Remus took them to the Hospital Wing by levitating them behind him. He was welcomed by Madam Pomfrey with, "Oh…you three again…" (Peter is dead. See 'Remus' Happy Corner' for more details.) "What did you do this time? Run into a wall?" she accused them.

          "Actually…" Remus started answering.

          Pomfrey cut him off, "No. Don't even tell me. I don't think I can take any more idiocy today."

          "Okay. 'Tever. I'll be off to class then, seeing as my friends are in good hands now!" 

          "Yeah, yeah. Get outta here!"

*~*

          James regained consciousness before Sirius. He decided he would count Sirius' brains while he awaited…whatever it was that he was awaiting. "On-uh…um…" he couldn't seem to count Sirius' brains as there didn't seem to be anything there to count, so he sat and stared at his hands instead. He concluded, some time later, that they were cool.

*~*

          When Remus returned, Pomfrey met him at the door. "I had to give them muggle medication." She explained, "Magic wouldn't help for what they had." Remus walked over to where James and Sirius were.

          James was laughing hysterically at a joke the woodland creatures had told him, though Remus didn't see any 'woodland creatures' around, and later, when James relayed the joke to him, it wasn't even funny! Sirius was sulking because he had been 'detentionized' for skipping down the yellow brick road. Remus had no idea what that was, but apparently, it was a 'no-skipping zone'.

          "Um, excuse me, Madam Pomfrey?" called Remus.

          "Yes, dear?" she came bustling over cheerfully.

          "What kind of medication, exactly, did you give them? I mean, sure they're stupid and odd at times, but never before have they hallucinated about roads and counted things in their spare time."

          "Let me check for you." She went over to the medicine cabinet and pulled out the bottle she had marked as the medicine she had given James and Sirius. Reading the label, the only thing she said, that couldn't have meant anything good, was, "…Oops…" 

**A/N: So, I know it was short again, but in my opinion, you can't take too much insanity in one dose. It's just not good for you. That's why I'm so wrong. I have insanity every second of the friggin day! Hope you enjoyed the small dose of it! Tell me what you thought! Flames welcome!**


	3. A Note From The Author

As you all may have noticed, oh adoring fans, I haven't written squat in months. How many months, you ask? Well, let's count 'em. When did I last post? Well, the computer says 9-12-02. So that's  3 months. Wow. So sorry to tell you this, but it'll be longer than 3 moths before I post again. Don't blame it on me! It wasn't my genius idea to send me off to the earthly equivalent of hell, rob me of my creativity juice (by forcing me to think…_logically_…God forbid, by doing Algebra!), and give me piles of homework every night so even if I _did _retain some creativity juice I wouldn't have any friggin time to do it! ::stops to hyperventilate:: woooo…I'm woozy… So, my point: don't expect any more soon. If I do, they'll be short little fics that are, like, one chappie, and possibly another chapter of this fic. I really am sorry, and I wish I had more time, but as it is, I'm almost grounded cuz I stay up too late with homework. Oh, the wrongness of it all! 


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